Persistence and Accountability are Siblings

My children  practice on the electronic keyboard we have at home, but when it malfunctioned, we took it to a service center to get it repaired. The technician said that the problem was a minor one and   would return the instrument at the end of the day. We went in the evening to take delivery of the repaired keyboard, but since I did not find an empty parking space, I gave Esther and Rakshan the money so that they could pay the Service center and bring back the keyboard.

They took longer than expected to return with the keyboard, so I asked them the reason for the delay.  Esther explained that Rakshan asked for a receipt but the technician refused and  the delay was because she insisted on having it.  She went to  narrate  that as they were about to leave when Esther stopped and asked him why he wouldn't give them a receipt. He said it was just a repair job  and the norm was not to give a customer a receipt for repairs. Esther asked if he could give them a receipt and he said yes. She asked him for once again and he replied it was not the norm to give a receipt for repairs jobs.  She said that she wanted a receipt and persisted with her persuasive skills  till he gave one to her.

Thinking ‘commercially’, I explained to them that he was probably trying to save on tax. I reasoned that if he did not wish to give us the receipt, they could have asked a discount, to which Rakshan  all of  fourteen responded that it was better to fix accountability than to get a discount.

Intent to Action

Our family needed some medicines at about 10.30 pm, and since we had just finished a hearty meal, my son Rakshan and I decided to walk to the nearby medical hall, than use the car. Half way into our errand, Rakshan noticed a poorly dressed man sleeping in a dark corner of the footpath and said, “Dad, maybe we should put a 100 Rupee note in his hand.” After some thought on whether this was prudent, he decided against it, but as we walked on, he kept wondering what we could do to help the man. I suggested that we could buy some biscuits for him at the medicine shop, but once there, we got busy with the purchase of the medicines and forgot all about the biscuits.

As we walked back, we came to the spot the man was sleeping in the darkness, and suddenly remembered the biscuits. My son looked around for a shop to buy the forgotten item, but an idea struck him when he noticed a restaurant a few yards away. He took me there, ordered an Aloo Paratha (Spiced mashed potatoes in flat bread), took the packet to the man, knelt down and said, “Brother please get up and eat”. The man with a nod of his  head and a  grateful look acknowledged the  offering.  Rakshan got up to his feet and continued walking towards home as if nothing had happened... it came so naturally to him. Having witnessed this, I realized how little it does it  take for us to walk the talk.

The Towel of Humility fills a Basin of Gratitude

Today is observed as Maundy Thursday - the day before Good Friday - which is  observed by all Christians  worldwide.  Jesus did  two acts on Maundy  Thursday, one of which is instituting the Holy Communion  which all Churches  follow and for the  second act he used two humble articles to demonstrate the power of humility. Using the basin and the towel, Jesus washed the feet of his disciples.

As an idea, washing  any one's feet makes good reading, however to actually wash another person’s  feet is another issue. At a church service the pastor asked for volunteers to use the basin and the towel. I remember asking my colleagues to do something new with this question, “When was the last time you did something for the first time?” Perhaps this question prompted me as well, and I resolved to go ahead. I removed my shoes and walked down the aisle to be amongst a small group of faithfuls who volunteered. 

I rolled up my sleeves, knelt down, took the person's foot into my hand, poured water and washed one  foot at a time. My fingers washed the dust away from the heel, sole and toes. Having done that, I took a towel and wiped the feet dry. As I poured the water and used the towels, I whispered a silent prayer that this person be happy. It took only a few minutes. I then washed my hands and sat down. Then another person knelt down, washed my feet and dried them, during which time my eyes tried their best to communicate my gratefulness to him.

It has been a year, and I do not recollect anyone telling me, “oh you washed some one's feet” nor have I lost out due to that act. However let me share what I gained in the process. The very act of  kneeling down to wash another’s feet has made me realise that there is no such thing as ‘ego’. I did not depersonalise myself through this service. It did not take too long, nor was there anything mysterious about this act of washing another’s feet. 

We tend to attach too many emotions and sentiments to little acts of service, when in reality what matters is that these acts are much more than peoples' sentiments or social perception. Perhaps emotions and fear of social perceptions inhibit us from being productive.

I also felt a deep sense of gratitude at being served, that someone should deign to wash my feet. It also made me realise that there are several who are doing more than wash my feet on a day to day  basis whom I  take for granted. The unnamed person who keeps the washrooms clean, lifts the  garbage and those ‘who only stand and wait’ to make our daily lives easier and cleaner. They do more than wash our feet. I am not sure we are able to show our gratitude to them. 

Today we find that it is not just the feet that need cleaning, but also our hearts. When we start with the feet using the towel of humility, in doing what is needed to be done, we would certainly touch the hearts of others. My heart sure was touched while being served. Let's therefore help each other fill our basins with gratitude when receiving acts of service done in humility.

Achieving Excellence – Completing the Last Mile

In a long journey, the last mile becomes critical in actually reaching your destination and achieving your goals. Long journeys can be arduous and boring, when short supply of resources like time, food and water can cloud our judgement... even the best are bound to make errors. This can also happen when you are executing mission critical projects or assignments, where all deadlines are being met and yet, at the last 5% of the project, there could be issues which impede you from achieving your goals. This actually  prevents  you  achieving  excellence in your chosen field.

Interestingly, there is a narrative in the Bible of three wise men who made an error of judgement in the last mile of their journey. The wise men of that time, similar to the Subject Matter Expert ( SME) of today, did their research and deep study on their field of expertise. They understood that a King was born, by reading the literature of that time and matching it with the symbols and events. Their study revealed that the prophecy was being fulfilled through a bright star being seen in the East, so they decided to follow this bright star to lead them to their destination. Their purpose was to worship the King who was born at that time.

They had a journey of about 1300 kilometres from Babylon to Bethlehem, had they taken the main trade route. In those days the average speed was 32 kilometres per day by a camel caravan. Therefore the journey would have taken at least about 40 days. They would have taken a small entourage to provide for their needs and the needs of the camels. In essence, there was planning, detailing and providing for resources. They were clear on what was needed and they followed the star in their journey. 

As they came close to their destination, perhaps about the last 10 kilometres, they let their instinct decide, instead of following the star. In their judgement they assumed that the king had to be in a palace. They took their sight away from their source of guidance and instead, relied on their assumption. 

They meet the ruling king at that time and ask him, "Where is he who was born king of the Jews?", which sent alarm bells ringing in the kings mind. An alarm in the kings mind was panic in the hearts of his subjects. This falter turned fatal for scores of children who were below two years, as the king did not want any rival to his throne. I am not sure if these wise men ever learnt of the consequences of their falter.

There are a few learnings for Project Leaders and Business Heads from this little episode. Most professionals  believe they are on the path to excellence.  Having clarity of purpose is not enough, it is important to set the right goal and stay focussed on it.  A review of the goal is important as we reach important milestones. Overconfidence, common assumptions, hearsay could make you falter and deviate from reaching your goal.  Completing the last mile is important to achieve excellence  in your  chosen field. 

It is important to also remember that when one deviates from the goal, there is a price to pay. Unfortunately in this incident a few scores of innocents paid for this falter. Therefore Leadership is a responsibility and as Leaders, we are called to lead wisely. 

Barred Gates of a Citadel

A newspaper item  read thus:  A business partner of the iconic store in south Mumbai  killed himself on Tuesday allegedly over a property dispute with his brother.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines brother as a boy or man who has one or both of the same parents as you. A brother is one of the closest relatives a person can have and a person he has grown up with since birth. Best friends refer each other as brothers.

It is really a tragedy where one brother holds the other accountable for the extreme action he has taken in his suicide note. One has lost his life, but several lives are impacted, there is a grieving widow, a young girl does not have a father, perhaps a confused mother and the surviving brother and his family the cynosure of legal and police investigations. It would take a long time to get healing in this case, perhaps even a lifetime may not be enough.

The newspapers reported that this was a culmination of years of disputes  and irritations on some property matters. Perhaps no member of the family guessed what was happening in the mind of the late brother. Suicides have that element of suspense. Our own self-centredness prevents us from perceiving  how fragile the emotions of a loved one are.

Were all those fights really worth it after all?  A verse in the book of Proverbs reads...  A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city; disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel. Proverbs 18:19.  In these kind of disputes between family members, one does not know who is wronged more, but all parties feel equally wronged and their positions become very adamant.  

A family is expected to be a place where there is love and affection. Disputes only lead to rigid stances and these are manifest at work, school, play and leisure.  

In my view the essentials are quite simple for a happy family life... they are  Values, Respect and Dialogue. The values we cherish are the foundation of our lives. Having shared values as a family makes for a very strong family.

Lack of respect is easily perceived, and respect to each other in a family does help in understanding our differences and find ways to blend. Fathers are responsible to ensure that there is dialogue between members.

Respect and Dialogue would help open many a barred gate and make even sworn enemies march towards friendship, why should it be any different amongst families?

Rights and Responsibilities

We have  assembly  elections in our state tomorrow.   All establishments have been to informed to allow their  employees to vote.  In order to allow  employees to vote, they should be given   a day off from work.  The  Election  Commission takes a very serious view if any  establishment does not  give a paid off to its employees on the  day of the  election by punishing with a fine. There is also  a lot of adverse publicity due to this.

In the last election six months ago we also  ran a campaign called “Power of 49” to help  female  voters to turnout in large numbers.  Despite  all campaigning  the  voter turnout in my  constituency was a mere 54%.   Most  organisations have very  few options but only comply.

Looking a clean pair of hands I asked my colleagues why did they not vote as the company was closed and they had an opportunity to do so.  The sheepish grins left our imaginations to guess the  reasons. 

In the whole value chain of  voting I find there are many a slip,  first and foremost the intent of the person to register himself as a voter,  next to follow is the efficiency of the government  machinery to register the voter followed by technical glitches and  locating the booth etc. The  Government  does plug one loophole  by declaring a holiday to facilitate voting.  However many  have already been excluded since  they have never  been  enrolled as  voters.

The  question is  do employees and  citizens   have an opportunity to vote?  Yes they do by and large.

Do they have the  right to Vote?  Yes they do have however do they have  the responsibility to vote?  Perhaps they have  never really  asked this question.  Perhaps they  never will.

If we make it a responsibility to vote, we  could  also  make them accountable for discharging this  responsibility.

The  citizen and employee could be  made  accountable for registering himself as a voter, followed by voting on the  scheduled  date.  The employer’s role is merely  to give a paid off, and it does not give him the  opportunity to  ask the employees to ask “why did they not  vote?

Article  326 of  our constitutions gives us the  right to vote, however it does not  speak about the responsibility to Vote. Every right  also has a responsibility. It would  mean all concerned in the  chain to make the vote happen will discharge their responsibility and be held accountable if it is not  done.    

John D Rockefeller aptly summed it up  that Every right implies a responsibility; Every opportunity, an obligation, Every possession, a duty.  Perhaps we start viewing our rights in this manner. 

A Lasting Gesture of Responsibility

After  Seventeen days in the ICU, my dad was happy to move in to a room where the family could be with him all the time.  The  ICU was a actually a cold and lonely place where  he was a number who  responded to the  stimuli of a specialist.  The  single room was definitely a better place where  family could touch him and gesture to him and  be with him all the time and just to a few minutes at a scheduled hour.

The doctors had put him on a ventilator, they had tubes running from his nose and an insertion at his throat which left him “ speechless” literally.   A person who loved to speak was unable to counsel and guide.  This  was a great impediment to communication.

We had to make do with gestures and smiles, but yet the  yearning to   communicate was  intense.  We made a chart of the alphabet in bold letters and held it up to him,  he would point his fingers to the various alphabets and we would decipher the words and meanings.

Dad spent a happy hour with my children when they were  finally allowed to visit him in the room as children visiting the ICU was not  permitted.  After the children had left now dad’s  attention moved to something  else.   He wanted to know the expenses for the hospital stay.  Robin my brother and  I told him not to worry about the expenses and it is taken care off. He tried to understand the cost,  being a careful person however we did not give any hint  about it  ( may be so we thought) .

Another  half hour or so passed when Dad had a bit more energy he  gestured for the alphabet chart,  we took it out and showed it to him.  He pointed out to some alphabets but we could not grasp what  he meant to communicate.  He tried several  times,  Robin and I said  you mean “ FDC”  he nodded yes?  I wondered is it “ First Day Cover”?  dad being an ardent  stamp collector. He was positively disappointed at the grasp of his  sons.  We tried various combos and could not  decipher.  Exhausted he fell asleep. 

Robin  stayed the night with Dad and  the next morning after the doctor visits  and check ups we got together again.   I looked at the alphabet chart and then it dawned on me that he meant  “ Fixed Deposit Certificate”   I asked  Dad do you mean it is a fixed deposit  certificate?  His face lit up and said gestured yes,  further more he communicated to us to encash the fixed deposit which  he held   to pay for the hospital bills.

Robin and I took his hands in ours and kissed him and wiped the tears from all our eyes. Dad was positively relieved  that he got his message across to us.  That was about  11 am after that he relaxed and went into a sleep and by  early  afternoon he peacefully  walked through the Threshold of Eternity.

The care, concern and  responsibility which my father  communicated through his gestures is a fitting gift and example   for a Fathers Day. 

A tribute to all Father's  as they show care and concern to their family.