A Lasting Gesture of Responsibility

After  Seventeen days in the ICU, my dad was happy to move in to a room where the family could be with him all the time.  The  ICU was a actually a cold and lonely place where  he was a number who  responded to the  stimuli of a specialist.  The  single room was definitely a better place where  family could touch him and gesture to him and  be with him all the time and just to a few minutes at a scheduled hour.

The doctors had put him on a ventilator, they had tubes running from his nose and an insertion at his throat which left him “ speechless” literally.   A person who loved to speak was unable to counsel and guide.  This  was a great impediment to communication.

We had to make do with gestures and smiles, but yet the  yearning to   communicate was  intense.  We made a chart of the alphabet in bold letters and held it up to him,  he would point his fingers to the various alphabets and we would decipher the words and meanings.

Dad spent a happy hour with my children when they were  finally allowed to visit him in the room as children visiting the ICU was not  permitted.  After the children had left now dad’s  attention moved to something  else.   He wanted to know the expenses for the hospital stay.  Robin my brother and  I told him not to worry about the expenses and it is taken care off. He tried to understand the cost,  being a careful person however we did not give any hint  about it  ( may be so we thought) .

Another  half hour or so passed when Dad had a bit more energy he  gestured for the alphabet chart,  we took it out and showed it to him.  He pointed out to some alphabets but we could not grasp what  he meant to communicate.  He tried several  times,  Robin and I said  you mean “ FDC”  he nodded yes?  I wondered is it “ First Day Cover”?  dad being an ardent  stamp collector. He was positively disappointed at the grasp of his  sons.  We tried various combos and could not  decipher.  Exhausted he fell asleep. 

Robin  stayed the night with Dad and  the next morning after the doctor visits  and check ups we got together again.   I looked at the alphabet chart and then it dawned on me that he meant  “ Fixed Deposit Certificate”   I asked  Dad do you mean it is a fixed deposit  certificate?  His face lit up and said gestured yes,  further more he communicated to us to encash the fixed deposit which  he held   to pay for the hospital bills.

Robin and I took his hands in ours and kissed him and wiped the tears from all our eyes. Dad was positively relieved  that he got his message across to us.  That was about  11 am after that he relaxed and went into a sleep and by  early  afternoon he peacefully  walked through the Threshold of Eternity.

The care, concern and  responsibility which my father  communicated through his gestures is a fitting gift and example   for a Fathers Day. 

A tribute to all Father's  as they show care and concern to their family.  

Concentric Circles and Social Circles

When you throw a pebble into a pond, you might notice concentric circles rippling out from the locus point, where the pebble hit the water. Each circle has a larger coverage area and the ripples become subtle as they move away from the locus.

The adoption of organizational change needs this ripple effect and yet be subtle with larger coverage. If done the right way, disruption from the change can be lessened and it can be acceptable to large segments, change has a ripple effect on others.

Similarly if the core has received success, confidence grows and has similar effects in execution of other tasks.

One small win can cascade its effects and bring larger wins since its leads to positive reinforcement among people and they influence others who come into contact with them, similarly the entire organization can be influenced in this manner which is like the ripple effect.  

Thus the throwing of pebbles can symbolize a model for  social or organization change.

Just like a small pebble creates those large circles of ripples subtly,  the adoption of change should be in a manner that influences a larger segment and get accepted seamlessly. We could use this model to get quick wins like following traffic rules in one busy road. All traffic rules will be followed in that road. This would be a quick win which  could be extended to the arterial roads feeding into this road. Well having   tasted success in this as well, we have an opportunity to speak about it and extending the norm becomes easy.  

Similarly acts like conserving resources like water, electricity and paper or doing an act of kindness could be  good starting points.

When a big stone is dropped, water splashes around disturbing the entire stability and making the water muddy, likewise a change which is not implemented in a steady manner creates that disturbance  discord. The energy is now focused in managing that disruption  rather than  on  the implementation of the ‘Change’.

The Principle of Concentric Circles is an observation from the environment which inspires us to influence and drive change in Social  Business Circles.

Restoration and Responsibility

²⁵ Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. ²⁶ When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman,^[b] here is your son,” ²⁷ and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.  John 19: 25-27

The third word of Jesus from the cross is all about Restoration, Relationships and Responsibility.

I asked a young mother  how did  she feel when her  son had a deep cut on his head, she told  me she was concerned and felt a deep pain to see her son suffer. She then went into action in getting him medical aid. This is natural and all mothers who are at this worship service may have  experienced this emotion. 

Now if a mother were  told that a “ Sword will pierce through your own soul also”  what  would she expect? 

At the cross a mother is seeing the sword  pierce through her heart and soul and she is holding back tears, and is  unable to take action to support her son. She would want to tend that nail pierced hands, and clean the  striped back or  perhaps remove the blood the head.

Her  focus is on the  immediate and now.

The unexpected happens at this context. The person who is being hurt the most is the one who takes the initiative.   While  at the cross, we are  looking at the Cross, on the other hand,  Jesus on the cross is viewing our tomorrow and the day after.  Jesus demonstrates his responsibility through the Third word. 

Jesus foresaw the pain of a widow who will be without her son and responded to that pain.  Dear Friends  Mary did not express her pain.  The message for all Mothers is that Jesus knows your inner fears and pains. You do not have to express them or talk about them.  Jesus understands  your loneliness. You just have to lay them at the cross.

The  third word also  fulfils the commandment ““Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”

Jesus entered the Life of Mary and spent 33 years with her.  At Calvary, she feels a loneliness at having  lost  her husband and now an impending loss of a son.  Jesus does not leave you incomplete when he enters your life. In fact  Jesus restores everything.  When we see the tragedy of Judas, we get to see the character of Satan, who enters with our consent and leaves at his will. Jesus will not leave us nor forsake us.

Jesus restored a Relationship which in that society was very important to give Status to a woman. Jesus  gave a son to Mary.

Shall we focus now on the son to whom Jesus gave a mother.

John  was the disciple whom Jesus loved. Jesus had  confidence in him.  The disciple also loved  Jesus.  This  means that  they both shared a good relationship and exchanged ideas.  They would have  discussed  strategy, they would have planned and worked together.   When you love some one do you share a special relationship with that person?

Love is just not a static feeling,  Love implies Sharing, it implies dialogue and action. It also means taking a risk and standing for the person  you who loves you.

John  followed  Jesus to the  cross. 

Jesus loved John so he trusts him with the care of his mother. To put this in perspective  whom can anyone  entrust our mother’s, or daughters when there is a  fear for the   safety of women in our city.  Jesus could trust John  to take care of his mother. 

Jesus said  Here is your  mother  to John.  John took immediate action.

He behaved like a son to  Mary immediately. The reading  says from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.  By behaving like a son, the scene at the cross became a home immediately.

Why did Jesus ask John to take care of his Mother?

Since John loved  Jesus,  he was waiting at the cross. He  has not waiting   at the  cross because Jesus will ask him to take care of His mother. Since John was waiting at the cross he was given this responsibility. Today if we truly love Jesus are  we waiting at the Cross?  Do we dare to be  at the cross despite popular culture says and public opinion? John was at the Cross, Therefore  Jesus gave him a responsibility of Trust. Friends where are we today?  Have we run away scared or  Are we  waiting at the cross to accept  responsibility.  The  harvest is plentiful and the labourers are few

Why did  Jesus call Mary  “ woman “     In the  Gospel of Mathew  Jesus said

⁴⁸ He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” ⁴⁹ Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. ⁵⁰ For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” 

There fore  Jesus  addressed  Mary as woman,  He clearly  differentiated His Divinity from His Humanness.  As far as Jesus was concerned who ever does the will of my Father is my brother, sister and mother.   Since we all have a Heavenly Father,  that relationship is not  spoken off.  Jesus has given the universal definition of relationship, today  there are parents who need care and attention and children who need guidance and love.

Dear Friends as We wait at the Cross to do the Father’s will, allow Jesus to Restore our Relationships and give us  Responsibility.

May we  like  Mary  pray “I am the Lord’s servant, May your word to me be fulfilled.” 

What will be your first words from your Cross

Here a few verses from the Bible which are the words of Jesus.

1.       Do not Judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven - Luke 6:37.

2.       But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you - Mathew 5:44.

3.       For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive them your father will not forgive you - Mathew 6:14.

4.       If you hold anything against anyone, forgive him so that your Father in heaven may forgive you - Mark 11:25.

5.       My command is this, “Love one another as I have loved you.” - John 15:12.

What do these familiar verses mean to us? These are teachings of Jesus and we can say they are ideas and concepts. We often say “people say many things but they behave differently”. We also use the expression “actions speak louder than words” and agree with that expression.

Let us move to Calvary and picture Jesus Christ. The same Jesus who fed over 5000 men, who touched lepers, or walked on the water, is now on the Cross. He is crucified; his hands are nailed and he cannot touch a child or a sick person. His feet are nailed and he cannot walk to Lazarus’ or Jairus’ house.

What actions can he perform? He uses his lips – to pray for us. In doing so, see the congruence with his words we heard earlier and this prayer, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  This prayer is in harmony with his teaching in Mathew 5:44, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

We have two things to learn from this prayer for us.

1.       Jesus forgave sins of people. He has the power to do so, yet in this case he asks God to forgive our sins. Why does he do that? What is the example Jesus is giving us? He is saying, “Even though I am violated and am about to be killed, I will pray for those who persecute me. Those who persecute me may or may not repent of their sins.” In forgiving others we create a forgiving spirit in ourselves. Having a forgiving spirit drives away hatred and malice. It gives healing to our body and spirit. If we nurture hatred, a part of us dies with the hatred.

2.       This is a powerful testimony of being different. In also saying, “I thirst” and “My God, my God why have you forsaken me”, Jesus gives us a picture of his humanness. This is a testimony to others that we are different and dare to be pleasantly different.

 Jesus said, “If any man would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me.”

My dear friends, are we willing to take up the cross daily to follow him? It seems practically different, yet we must strive for it.

Here’s a point to ponder: We just heard Jesus’ first words from the cross.  When we take up the cross to follow Jesus, what will our first words from the cross be?

We have three examples of first words from the cross.

1.       There is a word of Ridicule:  The thief on left was angry and irritated. He deplored his plight. May be there was injustice in his case, or perhaps his punishment was greater than his sin. We may never know what his emotion was, but what we know is that his first words were words of ridicule from the cross. In so doing, he failed to see the Saviour.

2.       We next have an example of repentance. The thief on the right, correctly identified Christ. When he looked at Jesus on the Cross and his own cross, it was too difficult for him to bear. He rebuked the other thief’s ridicule and asked for forgiveness. We have an example here, as the repenting thief on the right set himself apart from the world. He was courageous to take a stand. The words of repentance draw us near to Jesus.

3.       Next we have an eloquent example of reconciliation. In forgiving others Jesus brings about reconciliation. It means that you become friends with those who persecute you. Jesus made the prayer of the angels at his birth “peace on earth and goodwill towards men” a reality with forgiveness and love.

When we are hurting, there are three ways to respond, either by

                                                ridicule, 

                                                repentance or

                                                reconciliation. 

We are given a choice... may we choose the right response to glorify God.

Here’s a small prayer to set us on track: O Lord because we often sin, and have to ask for pardon, help us to forgive as we would be forgiven. Neither mentioning old offences committed against us, nor dwelling upon in thought; but loving our brother freely as you freely love us. In Jesus name. Amen.

The Inevitable to the Unexpected

The inevitable has to happen and if one can take action earlier it is helpful.  What with frequent  overseas travel the pages in Passport were to get exhausted.  Each Embassy has its own norms and rules, for example one Embassy was clear that I have  four consecutive pages to stamp the visa.  I had only three and I did get the visa although late.  On Wednesday on my return from an overseas trip I realised I had only two and a half pages left and it was time to take  action.

That same  afternoon I submitted my application online after paying 50% of the fees as well.  I was given an appoiontment  2:15 pm  on the very next day.  I waited at my queue when I was allowed inside even at 2:10pm.  

A quick scrutiny of my documents revealed a that few certificates were needed. I called my driver and my colleagues to help and they responded galantly by 3pm.  I next proceeded to the counter where my photo and electronic signature were taken.   The next counter saw an officer verify my proof of residence and satisfied herselft. At this  counter my  current passport was also  cancelled.  A few minutes later I met the Assistant Passport Officer who accepted my file and gave me an acknowledgement of the documents received. I was out of the office soon there after.

On enquiry I was told that my new passport would arrive on Wednesday.  I thought to myself it is  fair  enough to get a fresh passport in four working days. 

The unexpected did happen on Saturday I actually got my passport on Saturday itself. The Passport application was processed and the fresh passport despatched all in 24 hours. My experience at the passport  was truly pleasant and I knew I as interacting  with a team of professionals.  They followed process, yet they  could give individual attention. Kudo's to their dedication,  ciitzens are benefitting from their work.  

We have several instances where  we criticise the various facilities and government services we receive.  We do not  use forums such as  these to appreciate and acknowledge the  good work we receive.  

Thank you  unsung heroes of the Passport  Seva Kendra at Worli, Mumbai.  

May I request you as  a reader to share your success story in  a larger forum. Lets us also thank the Government persons who impact us postively.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.* So do share  what were the  beautiful things which happened to you.

* Words from Desiderata

He was merely doing his Job

I  drove in  to the emergency area  of a  renowned corporate hospital and had hardly stopped my car, when  up came the  security person and  rudely gestured  me to move out of that area.  He also blew his whistle at me as he advanced to my vehicle.   When he came close to the window, I smiled at him and asked him,  Is this a hospital or have I made a mistake?  He replied yes it is but this place is reserved  for the doctors so you better move on.  I then told him that a close relative sitting in the vehicle needed emergency care.  He said to my relative to get down and walk to the  emergency.

Again I had to intervene  and said we would need a wheel chair  since my relative could not walk due a fall.   He condescended and then asked another guard to get a wheelchair , who wheeled my relative into the ward.

I thereafter  parked my  car a safe distance away from the “ designated doctors  reserved area” and rushed to the  emergency.  In the flurry of  filling of forms and attending to my relative, the image of the  security  guard and  his authority flashed in my mind.

Here we were wanting to receive  healing and comfort from pain and the systems were just designed to  deliver the contrary.  The very first touch point of an institution whose purpose is to  reduce suffering  actually increases it.  Hospital emergency wards are where every  second is a difference between life and death.  The guard was merely doing his job.

I think there is an opportunity for such institutions to revisit their purpose and  educate all their employees and consultants to live up to their purpose and vision and truly serve their  customer!

Partnering In Miracles !

He said to His Disciples, “ Gather up the fragments that remain, so that nothing is lost”.Therefore they gathered them up and filled twelve baskets with the fragments of the five barley loaves which were left over by those who had eaten.  John 6:12-13

This is how the Bible passage ends the narration of the miraculous feeding of the five thousand by Jesus Christ.

I observe yet another  miracle in this passage and that is the gathering of the twelve baskets. Let me tell you why I consider this a miracle.

The Disciples were asked to perform a fairly crazy task, that is to gather up  the leftovers. Usually one does not  do it as you have designated persons for this task.  They readily agreed and went about with diligently.  They gathered twelve basketfull when just an hour earlier there was absolutely no food, save for the five barley loaves and two fish.

Each and every person who was present there had been satisfied of his/her  hunger and presumably, each one had some food remaining as they couldn't eat anymore. They did not  need the  leftovers. Individually the leftovers are insignificant  but collectively they were twelve basketfull.   Each of us if we join together we can create a miracle. 

Jesus created a tremendous visual impact for all the five thousand and the disciples that evening.  The power of collective action.  That power was  twelve basketfull, several hundred times more that their own contribution.

Very often we think what we have or can do is insignificant however collaborating with disciples helps us realize this potential.  We also need to develop the willingness to let go what we do not need.

Jesus demonstrated yet another principle that  “What is blessed should not be lost”. Lets ponder how we  use our blessings.

The theme for the year  2013 World Environment Day celebrations is Think.Eat.Save. Think.Eat.Save is an anti-food waste and food loss campaign that encourages you to reduce your foodprint. According to the UN Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO), every year 1.3 billion tonnes of food is wasted. This is equivalent to the same amount produced in the whole of sub-Saharan Africa. At the same time, 1 in every 7 people in the world go to bed hungry and more than 20,000 children under the age of 5 die daily from hunger.  ( Source http://www.unep.org/wed/theme/)

Given this context with such startling figures  at a macro level, we need to act at an individual level.   Our actions  are simple   

• Give what you are not using.  
• Do not throw it away or waste it.  There are several motivated disciples who will collect today.

If you are motivated like the disciples, gather what is not needed.  Share with those in need so that   “what is blessed is not lost”. We can also create miracles today.